Well, today, I am just going to have to be honest: this is kickin' my tail today.  I have ABSOLUTELY NOOOO ENERGY!!!  I mean, I'm not talking "hmmm....I just wanna lay around today"  I mean ""  HOLY MOLY that shower WORE. ME. OUT!!!".  YUUUCK!!!  I have always heard that chemo/cancer/sickness made you tired, but I had NO IDEA that I would have trouble STAYING AWAKE?!?!??  YUCK!!!  I hate this and I hate that my family is seeing me this way.  I don't want them to think I am slacking, but sheesh!  I just need to SLEEEEP!!!  HAHA

We got home last night from the hospital about 7 ish.  Let me tell you what:  I LOVE my bed!!!  I slept until 9:30 this morning....it was HEAVEN!!!  WITHOUT ANY INTERRUPTIONS!!!!   I told Jason, even though it looks like I am "sleeping" in the hospital, I never sleep.  I am constantly aware of my surroundings which is probably another reason why I am BEAT today!  Things are just catching up??? 

Anyway---home sweet home with my precious children.  So thankful!!! 
Hope everyone is enjoying their summer...can you BELIEVE IT!?!?:

Blessings!!!

Em

Round 1 Chemo

Well....day 3 of the hospital, round 1 of  chemo and all seems to be going great!  The nurse came rushing in this morning proclaiming:  "WOW!!  You must have kidneys of a teenager!"  I said :"  Is this a good thing?"  She says:  "OH YEAH!!!  Honey!!  We checked your levels YESTERDAY and they are reading what the average person's reads on day 2 after chemo!!  You're moving on OUT!"  Me:  "It's just God taking care of me".  SERIOUSLY, PEOPLE!!!  DON'T YOU SEE??  HE'S GOT ME IN HIS HANDS!!! 

I hope to get to go home tomorrow.  We're a little bored, to say the least.  Television is AWFUL these days!!  I am amazed at the TRASH that's out there!  ICK...and there's just so much pacing one can do....

Otherwise, I feel really good.  I have AN AMMMMAAAZING NURSE!!!  She is AWESOME!!  She is taking great care of me and keeping on TOP of my meds so I don't get sick--which I have not and am not anticipating. 

I had another spinal tap on Tuesday and the results were good that came back from it.  ((Again, the good Lord took care of me--I didn't feel anything and had no discomfort afterwards, unlike before.)) 

Thanks for all who are continuing to call and check on us.  We are doing well!!  Just ready to go home!  ;0) 

Tomorrow...

Well, tomorrow I head to the hospital for round 1 of chemo.  Am I scared?  No--I am not.  Do I dread it?  Well....maybe a little, in the sense of:  I would rather be at home with my babies.  But I will not worry about tomorrow, just going to trust in the Lord and know that He is in control. 

Today I have been overwhelmed with love.  My family and I have been touched by so many of you reaching out.  Again, God has opened MY eyes as to how we EACH come into contact with SOOO MANY people!  People from all walks of life, in every aspect of our lives.  I have really taken that for granted and I hope not to again.  We are here to love each other, build each other up, encourage each other, help each other all for HIS GLORY.  I have failed miserably in this department, unfortunatley.  Today is a new day though!  Thankful for an opportunity to correct...

Thanks to all of you who call, text, email, come see me, pray....we are so very thankful from the bottom of our hearts.  Even the boys get excited about "who's bringing dinner!"--spoken like true boys, eh??  LOVE! 

Praying that round 1 goes smoothly and my body reacts quickly!!  Praying also for Divine Intervention!  (I think we're already seeing this though, don't you?  HAAAA))

I was in a local Christian book store the other day and a sticker caught my eye.  It was a picture of a half eaten apple with the statement:  Not our finest moment.

 HOLY COW!!!  THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I HAVE BEEN THINKING LATELY, LORD!!!  When I tell people about what's going on with me, I hesitate to tell them everything.  Initially, I  thought I was an open book....not so much these days.  I am holding on to what the Lord placed in my heart in the hospital:  "Do not receive this news"  Now, I know many of you are thinking that I am NUTS not to ask all "the questions";  what is the protocol?  what is the next step?  what stage?.... I'm not because I truly believe God is in control of all of this and He is asking me to TRUST. HIM.  Many of you know or may "not" know, but the pathology report came back and said it is more than a mass.  The doctors are hesitating to call it "cancer" because of the type it is.  Nothing is adding up. (HA!  GOD IS IN CONTROL!)  One of the doctors said to my husband:  "We're just stumped!  NOTHING is reading like a textbook case on her!" in which my sweet, loving husband replies:  "OHHH....I could've TOLD yall THAT!"  (Love in its finest degree!  ;0))   Love that man! 

Trusting

Anyway--just some more thoughts that I wanted to share. Yes, we have this technology and all its "resources" but sometimes, it's REALLY NOT THAT GOOD TO DELVE OFF INTO THE FRUIT OF KNOWLEDGE!!!  JUST. TRUST!!!

AAHH HAAAAA!!!!

GOD. IS.SOOOOOO GOOD AND FAITHFUL!!! 

Ephesians 6: 12 states:  For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 

THIS is what was placed in my heart from the VERY beginning of this "ordeal".  I have said it before and I will continue to say and believe God has healed me and will use this for His good!  This battle that wages inside of me is not flesh and blood, it's spiritual.  Evil forces are everywhere but I know that I KNOW God is surrounding me and His protection is ever present. 


This morning we received a call from the oncologist's nurse.  :  She said: "Hey guys!  The results are back from the bone marrow and we can't find ANYthing ANYwhere!  We ran ALL KINDS of tests and NOTHING is showing up!"   AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAH


I KNEW IT!!!  GOD IS SOOOO GOOD!!  Many of you reading this will think:  yeah, but...  just STOP.  RIGHT.  THERE!!  I told yall it was going to be okay!  I am thankful for my doctors and will continue to pray for them, but no....they won't be able to "figure me out" because this battle is not flesh and blood.  I LOOOVE HOW GOD IS SHOWING UP!!!  THIS. IS. AWESOME!!  WHAT A STORY TO SHARE!!! 

Talk and Thoughts

Two POWERFUL words :   TALK AND THOUGHTS

After surgery, many people were wanting the details of my situation.  "Was there a mass in her head?  Is it cancer?  Will she be the "same"?"....many, many questions.  Questions that I am going to be honest, I was not ready to discuss with myself, let alone, anyone else.  (no offense...)  Again, if I am being honest:   I KNOW that I am healed.  Yall...I FEEL it in my VERY INMOST of my being!  I mean:  I FEEEEL MY HEALING!  I know that this is the Lord.  I have never, EVER felt such a PEACE like I have right now.  I do not know what tomorrow holds for me, but I know Who holds my tomorrow. 

There is a song by Third Day that has been on my heart and mind :  It's Allright.  If you've never heard it, google it or look it up.  GREAT message!  Top of my Lungs is another song that resignates what's in my heart these days.  My healing and health comes from the the Great Physician. 

Now:  the title:  Talk and Thoughts....

Do you KNOW how VERY POWERFUL our EVERYDAY words are, people?!  WHEW!  Language...words are windows to our hearts.  Think about that for a moment...the things we SAY are written on our hearts and plop out of our mouths.  YIIIKES!!!  Anyone that knows me, knows I LOOOVE to TALK!!!  About ANYthing...yikes, again!  I fully believe God is working in me about my speech with this very situation.  I do NOT want to hear or be around any negativitiy.  I am trusting that God is guiding my doctors in the way that we should go.  I know that many of you are wanting the details of the "protocol"...again:  I am asking you to trust the Lord with me on HIS DIVINE direction with my doctors. 

ROCKED TO THE CORE

To "say" my life has been tuned UPSIDE, INSIDE out doesn't really do the words justice.  I have truly been ROCKED, SHAKEN, and TURNED INSIDE OUT to the very CORE OF MY BEING. 

God is so good, yall! 

The last 3 weeks have definitely been a whirlwind.  Headaches.  It's kinda crazy how my headaches (people:  not just "headaches"--I am talking:  sheer grinding, excruciating, wanting to HURT SOMETHING BECAUSE I AM IN CONSTANT PAIN headaches)  Obviously now looking back, I let them go way too long.  Being the ever-prideful, strong-woman (or so I thought)--I had the attitude of "I've got this...it'll go away"....humph....welp....6-8 weeks of agony and a brain surgery later...here. I . am!  :0)  THANK THE GOOD LORD I AM PAIN FREE!! 

If you are reading this, I want to say:  thank you!  So many people have reached out and loved up on our family in various ways and we are grateful.  The food, cards, calls, visits...the effort is truly appreciated on a level I cannot express with words. 

My healing is coming along BEEAUTIFULLY!!  :0)  I had the staples in my head removed last week (whhoop wooo)  Thanks to my friends that sent texts asking if I was "demagnetized"---uhhh.....DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE TALKING TO?  NO!  YOU KNOW I AM MAGNETIC, PEEPS!!!  MUAH!!!  --uhh...and since we're on the subject of staples:  STAPLES!!!  IN. MY. HEAD???  SEEERIOUSLY....cuh-RAZ-Y!!!  Again:  GOD. IS. GOOD!!  The staples will defintely bring laughter down the road with friends and family for years to come, I'm sure, and in some sick kind of way:  I LOVE IT!  I am just so thankful to be here and the opportunity to share...love life right now. 

Anyway--talk and thoughts.  These are the words that keep ringing in my head.  So much God has revealed to me on SUCH a REAL WAY.  I can't wait to share with you.  Soon. 

Until then--  LIVE, LOVE, LAUGH!!!  TRULY!! LIFE. IS. TOO. SHORT!!!