Where has the time gone?!?! It is so hard to believe that we are into March full-swing, knocking on spring break's door! (whoop!whoop!) So much has gone on, but nothing has gone on, if that makes any sense?
I am alive and doing great! I have completed 12 chemos and have 7 left ... I have no real words of "inspiration" in the midst of all this right now. I just know that I get a little emotional thinking that the end is near and I will be finished with this "season" soon. Probably sooner than I really realize...funny how life does that do you, isn't it?
Truthfully, the month of January was an emotional roller coaster for me. I knew I was on the downhill slope of all of this but my life has so drastically been changed that sometimes, it's just down right frustrating! My mind is telling me one thing but my body is saying something else. I feel like I am in a constant battle with my emotions and the physical part of me. Those of you that know me well, know that I tend to be a bit hard-headed (Yes, I realize this is an understatement!), anyway....this has probably been the biggest challenge for me with this: Admitting that I need to slow down and rest for the moment. This. Is. Hard. Probably one of my life's hardest lessons. I like to be on the go all the time. I like to be "moving and shaking". It's hard to admit that maybe, just maybe my endurance isn't quite the same right now. I hope this will change, but for now, I am learning (or trying) to learn to slow down.
I go next week for round #13. Almost there. Almost there. Almost there...yes ladies and gentlemen, I believe I can see the light at the end of the tunnel! As I was checking out of the clinic today, I noticed a "survivor dinner" next week in the surrounding area. I got a little choked up thinking that this time next year, I might like to go to that dinner. I mean, by then, this ole gal will have earned her place in the "survivor" realm, right!?! Again...my eyes well up with tears. Another "medal" to match my wall...one of my toughest, right? You know, as bad as I am ready for this ordeal to be over, do you know that I would not change a thing about it?!?! Has this been easy? No. Has my life changed? YES!! DRASTICALLY!!! But so much for the BETTER!! Truly. I am sorry if I sounded like I complained earlier, or any time for that matter...but some days, I do long for "normalcy" again. I am ready to be "me" again.
I hope I won't be as long blogging again. But until next time please continue to pray for my family and me,
Until next time! BLESSINGS!!!
E
Monday, March 4, 2013
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Clean Slate
Tonight, as I ponder the past 12 months and the future 12 months, I am full of a heart of gratitude.
I am so grateful to be alive!
I am so grateful for a God who never leaves me nor forsakes me, who meets my every need, and no matter how bad I mess things up by getting in the way, loves me in spite of it all!
I am grateful for the love and support of a wonderful, Godly husband and my precious children. I am grateful for my mama--who understands my pits and has loved me through them all. I have the best sister-in-law too, she is one of my best friends. She and my mama are my sounding-boards and I love them to pieces!
I am so very blessed!
I don't know what God has in store for me this 2013, but I know He has plans for me! I have a willing and open heart. I want to be a vessel He works through. Things may not always be what I think I want them to be but ultimately, ultimately, I know He has my best interest at heart.
I challenge you this new year to have an open heart and ears to hear Him calling. We serve a mighty God! I cannot express in words the peace that I have in knowing Jesus Christ. He is my Calm in the middle of this storm. People say these days: "E, you are WONDERWOMAN!" and I cringe a little inside. You see, it's not ME that's super...Greater is HE that is in me than he that is in this world!!
We celebrated Christmas just a few days ago. Over Christmas break we went home and visited my parents' church. Their preacher talked about how we should have the love of Christmas YEAR ROUND, not just a few days out of the year. And if you have a relationship with Christ you share the joy of Christmas day in and day out. If you do not have the love of Christ today, I challenge you to open your heart and invite Him in today. He will fill you and sustain you all the days of your life.
I hope you and yours had a fabulous Christmas and a wonderful new year!
Happy new year and bring on 2013!!
Until next time,
E
I am so grateful to be alive!
I am so grateful for a God who never leaves me nor forsakes me, who meets my every need, and no matter how bad I mess things up by getting in the way, loves me in spite of it all!
I am grateful for the love and support of a wonderful, Godly husband and my precious children. I am grateful for my mama--who understands my pits and has loved me through them all. I have the best sister-in-law too, she is one of my best friends. She and my mama are my sounding-boards and I love them to pieces!
I am so very blessed!
I don't know what God has in store for me this 2013, but I know He has plans for me! I have a willing and open heart. I want to be a vessel He works through. Things may not always be what I think I want them to be but ultimately, ultimately, I know He has my best interest at heart.
I challenge you this new year to have an open heart and ears to hear Him calling. We serve a mighty God! I cannot express in words the peace that I have in knowing Jesus Christ. He is my Calm in the middle of this storm. People say these days: "E, you are WONDERWOMAN!" and I cringe a little inside. You see, it's not ME that's super...Greater is HE that is in me than he that is in this world!!
We celebrated Christmas just a few days ago. Over Christmas break we went home and visited my parents' church. Their preacher talked about how we should have the love of Christmas YEAR ROUND, not just a few days out of the year. And if you have a relationship with Christ you share the joy of Christmas day in and day out. If you do not have the love of Christ today, I challenge you to open your heart and invite Him in today. He will fill you and sustain you all the days of your life.
I hope you and yours had a fabulous Christmas and a wonderful new year!
Happy new year and bring on 2013!!
Until next time,
E
Sunday, December 16, 2012
Reflection
I am overwhelmed this Christmas. I have so much to be thankful for! 2012 has been an "interesting" year to say the least!! Ups and downs: I was nominated Teacher of the Year for my school for 2011-2012, we lost a very dear friend to a horrible disease, I was diagnosed with non Hodgkins lymphoma, and the list goes on and on...Many highs and many lows but this has been an AMAZING year in so many ways too!!
I told my mom this week that I get a little choked up while buying Christmas gifts this year. The gifts are chosen very carefully with much thought going into them. I always do this, but this year, it just seems to mean so much more to me.
I am so grateful for my family! We have weathered many storms together and I am SOOO glad I have them to help me along this path of life. I honestly don't think I would have enough words to express how much I love them. Each one of them!
I have been blessed through friendship this past year in a mighty way. God put a couple of ladies across my path several years ago but through all of "this", we have grown so close. They have laughed, cried, prayed, and simply loved. My daddy always told me: "Em, if you can count on ONE HAND 5 GREAT friends. You've been truly blessed!" He is soooooo right on the money with that statement! Two women, in particular, have truly stood in the gap for me over the past 8 months and I don't know what I would have done without them. They have helped me keep my eyes on the goal, picked me up on some rough days, held my hand and let me cry, and encouraged me all along the way.
Yes. I am truly overwhelmed this Christmas season. God is good!!
Until next time,
E
I told my mom this week that I get a little choked up while buying Christmas gifts this year. The gifts are chosen very carefully with much thought going into them. I always do this, but this year, it just seems to mean so much more to me.
I am so grateful for my family! We have weathered many storms together and I am SOOO glad I have them to help me along this path of life. I honestly don't think I would have enough words to express how much I love them. Each one of them!
I have been blessed through friendship this past year in a mighty way. God put a couple of ladies across my path several years ago but through all of "this", we have grown so close. They have laughed, cried, prayed, and simply loved. My daddy always told me: "Em, if you can count on ONE HAND 5 GREAT friends. You've been truly blessed!" He is soooooo right on the money with that statement! Two women, in particular, have truly stood in the gap for me over the past 8 months and I don't know what I would have done without them. They have helped me keep my eyes on the goal, picked me up on some rough days, held my hand and let me cry, and encouraged me all along the way.
Yes. I am truly overwhelmed this Christmas season. God is good!!
Until next time,
E
Saturday, December 1, 2012
Another milestone
I conquered another milestone in this season of my life today. I completed the St. Jude 5K. I am very pleased to tell you that my official time was 34 minutes. (Pretty good for a girl whose body has been put through the RINGER the past 7 months, dontcha think?!?)
I didn't cross that finish line alone either. My awesome brother and sister-in-law never left my side (even when I had to stop and walk a minute). Today was another emotional day for me. Actually, this past WEEK has been emotional. No, I do not need to take anti-depressants--it's simply part of this battle that is raging on and I think it's perfectly normal and GOOD for me to release these emotions (sorry if you happen to be the one who "sets" the tears off--it's not "you" --just quite simply the ride of this journey).
I actually think I am going to frame this year's race bib and medal alongside my last year's full, 26.2 marathon race bib and medal. After all...these are my two marathons. :0)
I head back to the hospital for round #10 next week. Last week's visit to my oncologist was a good visit. He said my blood counts and all of my levels "look GREAT!". Praise the Lord!! I am so thankful and blessed beyond measure.
I took numerous pictures along the way today that I plan on posting as soon as I figure out how! HA! It's been a year since I've done that and I am going to have to call my sis-in-law to walk me through the process. Not a "techi" person...my friend that passed away this year always made fun of my lack of knowledge in this area....that's what friends are for, right?! LOL
Anyway--I'm off to rest and relax. Wishing you a wonderful weekend!! God bless you!!
Until next time,
E
I didn't cross that finish line alone either. My awesome brother and sister-in-law never left my side (even when I had to stop and walk a minute). Today was another emotional day for me. Actually, this past WEEK has been emotional. No, I do not need to take anti-depressants--it's simply part of this battle that is raging on and I think it's perfectly normal and GOOD for me to release these emotions (sorry if you happen to be the one who "sets" the tears off--it's not "you" --just quite simply the ride of this journey).
I actually think I am going to frame this year's race bib and medal alongside my last year's full, 26.2 marathon race bib and medal. After all...these are my two marathons. :0)
I head back to the hospital for round #10 next week. Last week's visit to my oncologist was a good visit. He said my blood counts and all of my levels "look GREAT!". Praise the Lord!! I am so thankful and blessed beyond measure.
I took numerous pictures along the way today that I plan on posting as soon as I figure out how! HA! It's been a year since I've done that and I am going to have to call my sis-in-law to walk me through the process. Not a "techi" person...my friend that passed away this year always made fun of my lack of knowledge in this area....that's what friends are for, right?! LOL
Anyway--I'm off to rest and relax. Wishing you a wonderful weekend!! God bless you!!
Until next time,
E
Friday, November 16, 2012
So I'm just going to be honest with yall and tell ya: I am SOOO glad next week is Thanksgiving break!! I am T.I.R.E.D lately!! I need a break!!
There's so much going on at school this time of year that it's hard to come up for air! We have Thanksgiving holiday, an upcoming music program for our grade (which makes the kids CUH-RAZY at school because they are out of their routine!), Grandparents' Day and then Christmas is just around the corner. Time seems to be FUH-LING by and there aren't enough hours in the day to get things done! And this time change?!?! Ugh! It's DARK so early! Boy....I might be complaining a little today, eh? I don't mean to be, necessarily....this is just the busiest I have been since, uhhhh...let's just say it's been a while I have had this kind of "stress"!! LOL and it's kind of throwing this girl for a loop! I ran only once this week (which is okay....right?).
I am excited to see my "whole" family during Thanksgiving this year. My aunt and her family will be in from overseas and I have not seen her in several years (how bad does THAT sound!?!) and my uncle who is HYSTERICAL will be driving over to see all of us too. I'm expecting a great time catching up with our family over the break. We have SO.MUCH. to be thankful for!!!
Well, I hope this "note" finds all of you well and I'm wishing you a peaceful and BLESSED Thanksgiving!!!
Until next time!!
E
There's so much going on at school this time of year that it's hard to come up for air! We have Thanksgiving holiday, an upcoming music program for our grade (which makes the kids CUH-RAZY at school because they are out of their routine!), Grandparents' Day and then Christmas is just around the corner. Time seems to be FUH-LING by and there aren't enough hours in the day to get things done! And this time change?!?! Ugh! It's DARK so early! Boy....I might be complaining a little today, eh? I don't mean to be, necessarily....this is just the busiest I have been since, uhhhh...let's just say it's been a while I have had this kind of "stress"!! LOL and it's kind of throwing this girl for a loop! I ran only once this week (which is okay....right?).
I am excited to see my "whole" family during Thanksgiving this year. My aunt and her family will be in from overseas and I have not seen her in several years (how bad does THAT sound!?!) and my uncle who is HYSTERICAL will be driving over to see all of us too. I'm expecting a great time catching up with our family over the break. We have SO.MUCH. to be thankful for!!!
Well, I hope this "note" finds all of you well and I'm wishing you a peaceful and BLESSED Thanksgiving!!!
Until next time!!
E
Sunday, November 11, 2012
My, what a year can bring!
I ran my first 5K since all of this began with me. I initially stopped running in the spring because of the excruciating headaches I was having. Although it really isn't that long to a lot of people: I have missed being "me" and my running...
A precious friend told me about the race 2 weeks ago. She told me it benefitted fallen soldiers. What a great cause to run for on Veterans Day weekend!
Another close friend drove a little over an hour to accomplish this milestone with me. This is HUGE as she doesn't consider herself a "runner"....yeah, well, honey, that has changed! ;0)
The opening ceremony was really sweet. There were a couple of speakers and our Pledge and National Anthem. Truly beautiful.
After the quick ceremony they called for the "runners" to line up in the front of the line. "This is IT!!!", I thought. And the tears began to flow. I choked them back really quick because I really wasn't expecting to be emotional about a 3 mile run. Afterall, this time last year I was pushing 20!! (But THAT'S a whole different "story"!) Anyway....my 2 friends and I prayed and then we were off and running! Again....tears. I broke out into what I thought was a decent stride only to be dismayed around .8th of a mile. Shin splints.....GRRRRRR!!! (It's what I get for not stretching beforehand) Needless to say, I perservered through one of the HARDEST races I have run since I began running races (a little over 7 years ago). My emotions were a bit all over the place and I cried like a baby when I crossed the finishline, just like I did when I crossed after 26.2 miles....yet another milestone in my marathon training of life.
God is so good.
The sweet friend that told me about this race gave me balloons and a sweet card at the end. She typed the following verse and glued it on the inside:
And He said to me , "My grace is sufficient for you, for my strength is made perfect in weakness." Most gladly, then, I will rather glory in my infirmities that the power of Christ may rest upon me...for when I am weak, then, I AM STRONG.
2 Corinthians 12:9-10
(Yes, tears again (and every time I read the card) ...I can't help myself. God gave us emotions and my tears are "tears of cleansing" ---according to my precious MAMA!! Not to mention: this is an emotional ride, people!!)
God bless!!
-E
A precious friend told me about the race 2 weeks ago. She told me it benefitted fallen soldiers. What a great cause to run for on Veterans Day weekend!
Another close friend drove a little over an hour to accomplish this milestone with me. This is HUGE as she doesn't consider herself a "runner"....yeah, well, honey, that has changed! ;0)
The opening ceremony was really sweet. There were a couple of speakers and our Pledge and National Anthem. Truly beautiful.
After the quick ceremony they called for the "runners" to line up in the front of the line. "This is IT!!!", I thought. And the tears began to flow. I choked them back really quick because I really wasn't expecting to be emotional about a 3 mile run. Afterall, this time last year I was pushing 20!! (But THAT'S a whole different "story"!) Anyway....my 2 friends and I prayed and then we were off and running! Again....tears. I broke out into what I thought was a decent stride only to be dismayed around .8th of a mile. Shin splints.....GRRRRRR!!! (It's what I get for not stretching beforehand) Needless to say, I perservered through one of the HARDEST races I have run since I began running races (a little over 7 years ago). My emotions were a bit all over the place and I cried like a baby when I crossed the finishline, just like I did when I crossed after 26.2 miles....yet another milestone in my marathon training of life.
God is so good.
The sweet friend that told me about this race gave me balloons and a sweet card at the end. She typed the following verse and glued it on the inside:
And He said to me , "My grace is sufficient for you, for my strength is made perfect in weakness." Most gladly, then, I will rather glory in my infirmities that the power of Christ may rest upon me...for when I am weak, then, I AM STRONG.
2 Corinthians 12:9-10
(Yes, tears again (and every time I read the card) ...I can't help myself. God gave us emotions and my tears are "tears of cleansing" ---according to my precious MAMA!! Not to mention: this is an emotional ride, people!!)
God bless!!
-E
Monday, November 5, 2012
Something exciting is in the air!
Exciting news, people! I have officially registered for TWO 5ks! Can I get a whoop whoop!!! Those of you that know me well, know that I LOOOVE to run in races. It's not necessarily the running, but the BUZZ in the air at a race that I love! I love watching people warm up and seeing the comrodary of people of all walks of life coming together. I also like to bet in my mind who's going to be the fastest! HA! (I'm usually surprised by who ends up with a fast time!)
My first 5k is this weekend. I'm amped! I may not have the fastest time but by-golly I will have the MOST determination! My second 5k is for St. Jude December 1st--and I can't WAIT for it! THAT's my FAVORITE race to run during the year....talk about PEOPLE! WHEW!! 10s of 1000s and I am NOT exaggerating!! From the racers to the supporters, it's incredible. People of all ages and places come out to support this weekend event. It's AWESOME! I tell people all the time if you've never experienced it, you should! At least once!
Speaking of 5Ks, I love my sister-in-law! I got the sweetest text from her this morning. She told me that I had been on her mind all morning. She was thinking about my year and the things that I have done and faced. Ultimately the text told me that she and my brother have registered and will run the 5k with me in December. She told me that they were going to "cross that finish line" with me this year. This text sent me into tears. I choked them back for a good 5 minutes! You see, my brother and s.i.l are avid runners, so 3 miles is a mere "stroll" for them. Crossing that finish line is a metaphor for what's going on in our family these days. It will represent so much to us. Not a time. Not a percentage. Not even a medal. No, that finish line that we are going to cross represents perserverence to the enth degree and that no one is alone in this family. I am so VERy thankful for the love and support of my family. I knew we were a close knit group before all of this started, but let me tell you....there's a bond here that's hard to break, my friends! I say it all the time and I will say it again: I am so VERY BLESSED!!!
Happy Tuesday!! GO VOTE!!!
Until next time,
E
My first 5k is this weekend. I'm amped! I may not have the fastest time but by-golly I will have the MOST determination! My second 5k is for St. Jude December 1st--and I can't WAIT for it! THAT's my FAVORITE race to run during the year....talk about PEOPLE! WHEW!! 10s of 1000s and I am NOT exaggerating!! From the racers to the supporters, it's incredible. People of all ages and places come out to support this weekend event. It's AWESOME! I tell people all the time if you've never experienced it, you should! At least once!
Speaking of 5Ks, I love my sister-in-law! I got the sweetest text from her this morning. She told me that I had been on her mind all morning. She was thinking about my year and the things that I have done and faced. Ultimately the text told me that she and my brother have registered and will run the 5k with me in December. She told me that they were going to "cross that finish line" with me this year. This text sent me into tears. I choked them back for a good 5 minutes! You see, my brother and s.i.l are avid runners, so 3 miles is a mere "stroll" for them. Crossing that finish line is a metaphor for what's going on in our family these days. It will represent so much to us. Not a time. Not a percentage. Not even a medal. No, that finish line that we are going to cross represents perserverence to the enth degree and that no one is alone in this family. I am so VERy thankful for the love and support of my family. I knew we were a close knit group before all of this started, but let me tell you....there's a bond here that's hard to break, my friends! I say it all the time and I will say it again: I am so VERY BLESSED!!!
Happy Tuesday!! GO VOTE!!!
Until next time,
E
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