Truth....

Truth is:  this 2nd go round hasn't been as easy as the first.  Ugh....a couple of side effects crept up this time.  I won't go into detail but please know that they aren't anything too terrible, simply uncomfortable for me and I sooo wanted to go through this without any! 

Sleep was near to none last night which caused a long day.  Please pray that round 3 goes smoothly and I won't have any side effects of any kind.  Round 3....allllmooooossst to round 444444!!!!  YAY!  STILL STAYING POSITIVE AND BELIEVING AND RECEIVING MY HEALING!! 

The hubs has been super sweet.  I honestly don't know what I'd do without him.  He takes really good care of me.  He's just a natural caregiver. My mom says all the time that he babies me unlike anything she's ever seen!  HA!!  I tell her all of those prayers paid off!!!  ;0)   I truly believe his caregiving is a gift from God.  He takes initative and makes sure these nurses are on top of things....(poor things  haha  I'm sure there's a lot of eye rolling--I mean, if I am doing it, surely they are !  LOL  The man means well though.  Gotta love him for that!!!  )

Well, just wanted to check in.  A decent day, not as great as the first go, but anticipating tomorrow to be great!

Blessings!!! 

E

2 nd Round!

Tomorrow I am scheduled for round 2 of 4 rounds of chemo in the hospital.  Please be praying that I do not have any side effects from the chemo and that I respond well to the chemo.  First time went well until I got home, then WHAM! 

This time next week I will be HALF WAY FINISHED WITH CHEMO!!!  WHOOOOHOOOOO

BEFORE LONG TEACHERS, WE WILL BE GETTING OUR CLASSROOMS READY FOR THE "NEW" YEAR!.  Yes, I went there.....oh the nerve!  HAHA

I hope everyone is enjoying their summer.  It's really going by super fast, considering....

Have a great week, yall!!!!

Blessings!!!

Today is another BEAUTIFUL DAY!

Today is another good day, peeps!  YAY!  So many people have sent me texts and emails checking on me, asking me how I am feeling.  The answer is :   I REEEALLLY feel "normal"  (HAAA...I know, I know, we'll leave THAT one alone).  But I do.  I feel good.  I just hate that it's soooo hot outside because normally, I have a savage tan at this point in the summer and....welll......I am SOOO WHITe!!  LOL  But the hubs says to leave it alone, it's healthier....humph....next summer!!!!  NEEEEXT SUMMER!!!  ((Still shootin for that pool in my backyard.  You'd think BRAIN SURGERY would land ya somethin' good!  hee heeee))

Anywho--went to the bambino's game last night. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say:  baseball fields  watching my child are probably not the healthiest place for me to "recover".  I am a natually competetive person anyway.....and......well.....just to be honest.......when my children are playing, I want TOOO WWWIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! HAHA....but seriously....I am not supposed to "get excited" (yell, holler, scream)-----uhHHHHHHH PEOPLE.   DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD THAT IS WHEN YOUR CHILD'S TEAM IS BEHIND!!!???!?!?  LOL
Seriously, it was tough being a "quiet" fan on the sidelines.  I'm sure the hubs loved it.  :0)  NOOO, I am not the crazy mama that climbs the fence and yells at the team, BUT I expect the team to "bring it" ANY time they are on the field!  It's not anything I would expect out of any situation in life....    :0) 

Anyway----praying for another great day tomorrow.  Please keep me in your prayers as I return for ROUND #2 Monday!!!    All seemed to go well last time,  expecting the same this go round. Hey---and guess what!?!?  I will be HALF WAY TO THE FINISH LINE THIS TIME NEXT WEEEEEEK!!!  YAAAAAAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO


BLESSINGS!!!

Questions People Want Answered

"Are you going to lose your hair?"  "Think your hair will fall out?" 

These are two questions that my friends keep asking.  My answer for them:  I shrug my shoulders and say: "No..  I am the exception to the rule.  Haven't you figured that out yet?!" 

In all seriousness:  hair loss is a common side efffect of the chemo I am taking. Have I noticed any changes yet?  Nope.  Not anything other than where the neurologists cut a little for the surgery back in May.  Soooo....who knows if I will lose my hair. 

In my twisted way of thinking I have enjoyed looking at the wig catalog the nurse gave me for suggestions.  How FUN might it be to wear a different color and style every day!?!  Yall know that I LOOOOOOOVE red hair and have tried to achieve this look for some time.  You never know what you might see ole Em heading into work/town/fun/ with!  HAHA  Ultimately, I do not know if I will lose my hair.  Do I worry about it ?  Nope.  I can't.  More important stuff to fret over.  Now....if these CHIPMUNK CHEEKS swelling would go away completely....I would be a happy camper!  Hair or no hair....ugh. ( We don't know WHAT that is from, other than the surgery???  And possibly the medication that I was taking at the time, but not any more????  WHO. KNOWS!!! )

Anyway....I was up and about and "thinking" so I thought I'd "share" my thoughts. 
Blessings to EVERYONE!    MUUUUAH! 

Just BLESSED!

Yesterday's MRI results were good.  Doc said "all is healing beautifully!  I don't see any unnatual swelling, place where mass was is healing as it should.  All looks good!"

God is good, yall!  I'm just blessed.  Period!!!  I feel His presence and love with me all the time. 

Monday will be round 2 of chemo.   Doctor is adament I only stay one night (I'm speculating that he wasn't too thrille I stayed all week last time.  He said :  "there's just no need for that!")  You aren't telling ME anything I don't know!  HA!!  A week  was tough!! There's just nothing better than your own bed, your own shower, your own smells,and of course.....not having someone POKING or PRODDINg on you AAALLL hours of the NIGHT!?!?  LOL

Anyway---I slept SSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo gooooooood last night, people!!!  I don't think I MOVED at. all! Didn't get up until after 9.  Yes, God. Is. Good!!!

BLESSINGS TO YALL!!! 

Typically....

HA!  Well...it's 4:50 a.m. and TYPICALLY I would be gearing up to train...yeah....welllll.....diffferent training now, eh?

As I sit here, feeling kinda icky (sorry, just being honest)  and going through all the texts (sorryguys, I PROMISE I will get with yall soon...just been kinda "busy") I thought I'd fill yall in on the latest with me....

Well......came home Friday from the hospital.  Felt pretty good!  No real pains.  No nausea.
  Not really feeling any differently than I have, other than my HEAD WAS FEELING GOOOOOD!!!  :0) 

Then Saturday came.....

Okay....sooooo....the precious nurse , Ann, who is my new best friend--she just doesn't realize it yet--said "OkAY, SOOOOO,,,,,Saturday and Sunday are "probably gonna kick your butt"....seriously.....those were her words.  She then went on to explain that the chemo would ZAP me of my energy and it would be OOOOKKKAAAAYYY.  She said "REEEEST"....HA!  I think I COMPLETELY zoned out during that conversation, because I thought initially:  "yeah...okay...kinda like every other day I have been having.  I've got this.  This stupid mess isn't gonna lick ME!"....uuuuhhhhh......hhhhhmmmm........

I.  DID. NOT . GET. OUT .OF . THE. BED. ON. SATUDAY!!!  I WAS NOT ONLY WIPED OUT, BUT COULD NOT, DID NOT, WOULD NOT MOOOOVE!!!  OH MY GOODNESS!!!  Seriously....I had no idea it was going to be that bad!!!  I might be dreading August.....

Sunday was a pretty good day to start off with.   I tried to go to church, but ran out of juice,so hubs and boys went.  Sunday was pretty uneventful, but ....Monday....

MONDAY, MONDAY:  WHAT A FUN DAY!!!

WWWOOOWWW!!!  Okay:  spiked a temp which kinda freaked the hubs out, as we were told "ER anything over 99."  Oh well, yall know ME by NOW:  if I am gonna do it, LET'S DO IT RIGHT!!!    Fever spiked 100,8  (eeeeeks)

Thank goodness for a GREAT hubs.  He called the doc, got me in, and all is well.  lol

Doctor can't figure out WHAT or WHY I am/was running fever.  My white blood cell counts are "great", sooo......It's 5 A. M., fever is slightly up again and.........that's the latest run down! 


I want to tell everyone thaank you again for calling and texting and emailing me.  I promise I will catch up eventually.  As you can see....been a little under the weather BUT I will kick it and get back soon!  I love yall and  CAN YOU BELIEVE IT IS ALREADY JUNE 20TH!?!?!?!?!  SHEESH....
Last I knew it was May 18th!  lol

Blessings to everyone! 

YES!!!

Well.....it's that time again for me:    St. Jude marathon registration time!  Do I??  DON"T I??  What to do...what to do....DUH, PEOPLE!!!  I'M CROSSING THAT FINISH LINE AND GOING TO SHOUT HALLELUIAH!!!  Now....who's going to join me this year?  Obviously, I won't be running the 26 or 13, but 5k is going to be an accomplishment and probably QUITE emotional, too.  I can't WAIT!!!  ((Maybe I can FINALLY talk the hubs into joining me???  We'll seeeee.....))  If you haven't ever experienced the St. Jude Marathon weekend in Memphis...let me tell you....you are MISSING A TREAT!!!  IT'S AAAAMMMAAZING!!!  I  have fun it for 6-7 years and it's without a doubt, one of my favorite things to do.  I encourage you to come out this year and give a shout for all those sweet   babies fighting for their lives and all of the hunnnnndreds of volunteers giving their time to support them.  I promise you, you won't be disappointed!!! 

Well, off to scout it out.....and FYI:  I have a team.  Last year we ran for His Grace Girls.  (I'm quite emotional right now at the thought of joining these two precious little girls as a GRACE SURVIVOR!!!  ))

More info to come!!! 

Blessings!!!! 

Well, today, I am just going to have to be honest: this is kickin' my tail today.  I have ABSOLUTELY NOOOO ENERGY!!!  I mean, I'm not talking "hmmm....I just wanna lay around today"  I mean ""  HOLY MOLY that shower WORE. ME. OUT!!!".  YUUUCK!!!  I have always heard that chemo/cancer/sickness made you tired, but I had NO IDEA that I would have trouble STAYING AWAKE?!?!??  YUCK!!!  I hate this and I hate that my family is seeing me this way.  I don't want them to think I am slacking, but sheesh!  I just need to SLEEEEP!!!  HAHA

We got home last night from the hospital about 7 ish.  Let me tell you what:  I LOVE my bed!!!  I slept until 9:30 this morning....it was HEAVEN!!!  WITHOUT ANY INTERRUPTIONS!!!!   I told Jason, even though it looks like I am "sleeping" in the hospital, I never sleep.  I am constantly aware of my surroundings which is probably another reason why I am BEAT today!  Things are just catching up??? 

Anyway---home sweet home with my precious children.  So thankful!!! 
Hope everyone is enjoying their summer...can you BELIEVE IT!?!?:

Blessings!!!

Em

Round 1 Chemo

Well....day 3 of the hospital, round 1 of  chemo and all seems to be going great!  The nurse came rushing in this morning proclaiming:  "WOW!!  You must have kidneys of a teenager!"  I said :"  Is this a good thing?"  She says:  "OH YEAH!!!  Honey!!  We checked your levels YESTERDAY and they are reading what the average person's reads on day 2 after chemo!!  You're moving on OUT!"  Me:  "It's just God taking care of me".  SERIOUSLY, PEOPLE!!!  DON'T YOU SEE??  HE'S GOT ME IN HIS HANDS!!! 

I hope to get to go home tomorrow.  We're a little bored, to say the least.  Television is AWFUL these days!!  I am amazed at the TRASH that's out there!  ICK...and there's just so much pacing one can do....

Otherwise, I feel really good.  I have AN AMMMMAAAZING NURSE!!!  She is AWESOME!!  She is taking great care of me and keeping on TOP of my meds so I don't get sick--which I have not and am not anticipating. 

I had another spinal tap on Tuesday and the results were good that came back from it.  ((Again, the good Lord took care of me--I didn't feel anything and had no discomfort afterwards, unlike before.)) 

Thanks for all who are continuing to call and check on us.  We are doing well!!  Just ready to go home!  ;0) 

Tomorrow...

Well, tomorrow I head to the hospital for round 1 of chemo.  Am I scared?  No--I am not.  Do I dread it?  Well....maybe a little, in the sense of:  I would rather be at home with my babies.  But I will not worry about tomorrow, just going to trust in the Lord and know that He is in control. 

Today I have been overwhelmed with love.  My family and I have been touched by so many of you reaching out.  Again, God has opened MY eyes as to how we EACH come into contact with SOOO MANY people!  People from all walks of life, in every aspect of our lives.  I have really taken that for granted and I hope not to again.  We are here to love each other, build each other up, encourage each other, help each other all for HIS GLORY.  I have failed miserably in this department, unfortunatley.  Today is a new day though!  Thankful for an opportunity to correct...

Thanks to all of you who call, text, email, come see me, pray....we are so very thankful from the bottom of our hearts.  Even the boys get excited about "who's bringing dinner!"--spoken like true boys, eh??  LOVE! 

Praying that round 1 goes smoothly and my body reacts quickly!!  Praying also for Divine Intervention!  (I think we're already seeing this though, don't you?  HAAAA))

I was in a local Christian book store the other day and a sticker caught my eye.  It was a picture of a half eaten apple with the statement:  Not our finest moment.

 HOLY COW!!!  THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I HAVE BEEN THINKING LATELY, LORD!!!  When I tell people about what's going on with me, I hesitate to tell them everything.  Initially, I  thought I was an open book....not so much these days.  I am holding on to what the Lord placed in my heart in the hospital:  "Do not receive this news"  Now, I know many of you are thinking that I am NUTS not to ask all "the questions";  what is the protocol?  what is the next step?  what stage?.... I'm not because I truly believe God is in control of all of this and He is asking me to TRUST. HIM.  Many of you know or may "not" know, but the pathology report came back and said it is more than a mass.  The doctors are hesitating to call it "cancer" because of the type it is.  Nothing is adding up. (HA!  GOD IS IN CONTROL!)  One of the doctors said to my husband:  "We're just stumped!  NOTHING is reading like a textbook case on her!" in which my sweet, loving husband replies:  "OHHH....I could've TOLD yall THAT!"  (Love in its finest degree!  ;0))   Love that man! 

Trusting

Anyway--just some more thoughts that I wanted to share. Yes, we have this technology and all its "resources" but sometimes, it's REALLY NOT THAT GOOD TO DELVE OFF INTO THE FRUIT OF KNOWLEDGE!!!  JUST. TRUST!!!

AAHH HAAAAA!!!!

GOD. IS.SOOOOOO GOOD AND FAITHFUL!!! 

Ephesians 6: 12 states:  For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 

THIS is what was placed in my heart from the VERY beginning of this "ordeal".  I have said it before and I will continue to say and believe God has healed me and will use this for His good!  This battle that wages inside of me is not flesh and blood, it's spiritual.  Evil forces are everywhere but I know that I KNOW God is surrounding me and His protection is ever present. 


This morning we received a call from the oncologist's nurse.  :  She said: "Hey guys!  The results are back from the bone marrow and we can't find ANYthing ANYwhere!  We ran ALL KINDS of tests and NOTHING is showing up!"   AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAH


I KNEW IT!!!  GOD IS SOOOO GOOD!!  Many of you reading this will think:  yeah, but...  just STOP.  RIGHT.  THERE!!  I told yall it was going to be okay!  I am thankful for my doctors and will continue to pray for them, but no....they won't be able to "figure me out" because this battle is not flesh and blood.  I LOOOVE HOW GOD IS SHOWING UP!!!  THIS. IS. AWESOME!!  WHAT A STORY TO SHARE!!! 

Talk and Thoughts

Two POWERFUL words :   TALK AND THOUGHTS

After surgery, many people were wanting the details of my situation.  "Was there a mass in her head?  Is it cancer?  Will she be the "same"?"....many, many questions.  Questions that I am going to be honest, I was not ready to discuss with myself, let alone, anyone else.  (no offense...)  Again, if I am being honest:   I KNOW that I am healed.  Yall...I FEEL it in my VERY INMOST of my being!  I mean:  I FEEEEL MY HEALING!  I know that this is the Lord.  I have never, EVER felt such a PEACE like I have right now.  I do not know what tomorrow holds for me, but I know Who holds my tomorrow. 

There is a song by Third Day that has been on my heart and mind :  It's Allright.  If you've never heard it, google it or look it up.  GREAT message!  Top of my Lungs is another song that resignates what's in my heart these days.  My healing and health comes from the the Great Physician. 

Now:  the title:  Talk and Thoughts....

Do you KNOW how VERY POWERFUL our EVERYDAY words are, people?!  WHEW!  Language...words are windows to our hearts.  Think about that for a moment...the things we SAY are written on our hearts and plop out of our mouths.  YIIIKES!!!  Anyone that knows me, knows I LOOOVE to TALK!!!  About ANYthing...yikes, again!  I fully believe God is working in me about my speech with this very situation.  I do NOT want to hear or be around any negativitiy.  I am trusting that God is guiding my doctors in the way that we should go.  I know that many of you are wanting the details of the "protocol"...again:  I am asking you to trust the Lord with me on HIS DIVINE direction with my doctors. 

ROCKED TO THE CORE

To "say" my life has been tuned UPSIDE, INSIDE out doesn't really do the words justice.  I have truly been ROCKED, SHAKEN, and TURNED INSIDE OUT to the very CORE OF MY BEING. 

God is so good, yall! 

The last 3 weeks have definitely been a whirlwind.  Headaches.  It's kinda crazy how my headaches (people:  not just "headaches"--I am talking:  sheer grinding, excruciating, wanting to HURT SOMETHING BECAUSE I AM IN CONSTANT PAIN headaches)  Obviously now looking back, I let them go way too long.  Being the ever-prideful, strong-woman (or so I thought)--I had the attitude of "I've got this...it'll go away"....humph....welp....6-8 weeks of agony and a brain surgery later...here. I . am!  :0)  THANK THE GOOD LORD I AM PAIN FREE!! 

If you are reading this, I want to say:  thank you!  So many people have reached out and loved up on our family in various ways and we are grateful.  The food, cards, calls, visits...the effort is truly appreciated on a level I cannot express with words. 

My healing is coming along BEEAUTIFULLY!!  :0)  I had the staples in my head removed last week (whhoop wooo)  Thanks to my friends that sent texts asking if I was "demagnetized"---uhhh.....DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE TALKING TO?  NO!  YOU KNOW I AM MAGNETIC, PEEPS!!!  MUAH!!!  --uhh...and since we're on the subject of staples:  STAPLES!!!  IN. MY. HEAD???  SEEERIOUSLY....cuh-RAZ-Y!!!  Again:  GOD. IS. GOOD!!  The staples will defintely bring laughter down the road with friends and family for years to come, I'm sure, and in some sick kind of way:  I LOVE IT!  I am just so thankful to be here and the opportunity to share...love life right now. 

Anyway--talk and thoughts.  These are the words that keep ringing in my head.  So much God has revealed to me on SUCH a REAL WAY.  I can't wait to share with you.  Soon. 

Until then--  LIVE, LOVE, LAUGH!!!  TRULY!! LIFE. IS. TOO. SHORT!!!